Dear Lai Ma – Inaugural Episode

This article was first blogged on Dec 14th in my other blog, Stepping Aside For Reality and then reproduced here.

In today's issue, our 5Star columnist and former karaoke lounge singer, Ms Lai Ma, will answer all your questions on the topic of giving Christmas presents.



Dear Lai Ma
Christmas is approaching and I need to give my boyfriend a Christmas present. But my budget is only 5 ringgit. What do you suggest?
Julie

Dear Julie
Don't be so cheapskate lah. 5 ringgit where can buy anything nowadays. Go and borrow 20 ringgit from your boyfriend. So now you have 25 ringgit. Go and buy him a 6 ringgit present. The remaining 19 riggit, buy something nice for yourself. That way you will still feel good even after buying him a cheap present! Just because you are a cheapskate doesn't mean you have to think like one.


Dear Lai Ma
I have this boss who is very nasty. He has tormented us for 3 years. My office colleagues are planning to pack a dead rat in a box to give him as a Christmas present. I do not think this is a good idea. What do you think?
Fiona

Dear Fiona
Of course not good idea lah? Go and whack those idiots for me. Nah meh.....he tormented you for 3 years and you give him one dead rat......where got fair? You should put in 3 dead rats.


Dear Lai Ma
There is this girl who wants to give me a Christmas present. But I am not a Christian. Should I take or not?
Ah Beng

Dear Ah Beng
Eh....you ask this type of stoopid question for what? Yau mo kau chor ah......this type of thing, ahh.....you take first and think later. This is Malaysian culture. It is always better for others to give and for us to receive. Next time I don't want to entertain this type of stoopid question anymore. If I were the girl, ah....I whack your head instead.


Dear Lai Ma
Since I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago, I have this box of unused condoms lying in my apartment. I want to give it to my male colleague as a Christmas present. But I don't want him to get the wrong idea. What shall I do?
Jennifer

Dear Jennifer
Wrong idea is good! If he gets the wrong idea, you won't be alone for Christmas. But since you don't want him to get the wrong idea, never mind lah. Just tell your colleague that you are giving him gloves for Christmas. Put the condoms into an unmarked empty box. Then mark the box with the following words,
"GLOVES FOR INDIVIDUAL FINGERS"
Trust me, he won't know the difference.